Haunted Garage: Possession Park

At one of my many trips to the second hand music shop, I always made it a point to spend a few minutes to peruse the dollar bin, which was just a large basket of unorganized CDs. Everything from metal to gospel albums could be found in that mishmash of a bin and every now and then, I’d find something that would peak my interest. One day, while tossing aside CD after CD, I stumbled across one with a peculiar album cover. I looked like some sort of demonic carnival with two ghouls enjoying a roller coaster ride from hell. With a name like Haunted Garage, I wasn’t sure what to make, but with the cover art alone, I figured this might be some form of heavy metal. When I noticed the Metalblade Records label, I figured I couldn’t go wrong, especially for only a buck. Or so I thought.

To get right into it, Haunted Garage play a blend of punk, hard rock. On their sole album, the combine the elements of punk, thrash and hard rock with some bluesy overtones to create a crossover thrash sound. The guitars, for the most part, are minimalistic and dry. The riffs are simplified down to a single chord or two, offering little in the ability to hook the listener, while they also show much in the way of rhythm or crating any catchy harmonies. The drums, sounding more on the hard rock side of the spectrum, may not be anything groundbreaking, but provide the only sense of rhythm for the songs. The bass is surprisingly audible, but for the most part, it simply plays right along with the guitars, preventing it from standing out in any way. The vocals, performed by Dukey Flyswatter (Michael Sonye) has a nice raspy voice for this kind of punky crossover sound. He sings with a lot of speed and intensity and at times his rasps remind me of Steve Souza or even Bobby Blitz. Their spunky nature certainly adds to the overall humor of the album and provides a much needed punch that most of the songs lack.

The only two times where I can say safely that everything comes together as a well-rounded effort would be on “Little Green Men” and “Party in the Graveyard”. Both are punk driven, crossover sounding songs, with catchy choruses. The drums and guitars actually play together and produce a few decent rhythms while Sonye’s vocals on full display, showcasing the sound and humor within each song.

Overall, Haunted Garage play similar humor metal that fans of Green Jello and old GWAR and if you’re into the theatrics of such shtick, you might get a kick out of. For my tastes, the album lacks much in the lasting effects department, but the overall fun and humor that this style of metal is all about has its place, just not in my collection. At the end of the day, unless you truly love humor mixed with punky-crossover, “Possession Park” proves that sometimes, if it’s in the dollar bin, it belongs, it’s there for good reason.

*The band can be seen in the Sci-fi flick, "Cyclone", while Sonye has acted in the film Surf Nazis Must Die.

Highlights: "Party In the Graveyard" “Little Green Men”

Rating: 1.5

X-Cops: You Have the Right to Remain Silent...

So a few members of the legendary band GWAR decided to put together a side gig, only the lead singer and guitarist switched roles. Well, there’s more to it than that, but that is the major headline you will see when you read about this band. Anyhow, X-Cops carry over the humor from one band to the other, only the music is pretty straight forward crossover whereas GWAR was a combination of various genres.

As for the music on “You Have the Right to Remain Silent”, we get a fast paced, energetic and of course, humorous album. The songs play very much like GWAR; catchy riffs and bombarding drums set within a humorous setting, capturing the nature of the band. They carry the pace of the album, never allowing the listener to become bored with their brazen sound, and quick tempos. In addition, there are a number of short, but shredding solos spliced into the songs that help blend the hardcore vocals and thrash music into a cohesive sound. The drumming is handle by none other than GWARS’ Mike Dunn, so if you’re a fan, you’ll know what to expect. The drums are just as important as the guitars, playing side by side with them to create a catchy and memorable rhythm for most of the songs. As for the vocals, Casey Orr (Beefcake the Mighty) has a nice set of pipes for the crossover sound. Now, he’s dabbled in some additional vocal duties in GWAR, but here, he’s finally turned loose and shows off his ability. He has a gruff tone to his voice, but not so harsh that you cannot understand every word he sings. He exudes just enough anger to get the point across, but just enough fun to keep in line with the ideals of the album.

“Cavity Search” and “Barbells” display the classic GWAR formula, as they both hook the listener with their riffs, while the drums create a nice rhythm, allowing the vocals to focus on the elements of humor. ‘Welcome to New Jersey” is more vintage crossover focused on the fist-pumping music more than anything else. Many of the songs follow suit however, not every song has the same captivating effect.  Songs like “Zipper Pig” and “Paddy Wagon Rape” tend to get lost in the humor and as such the music become an afterthought forcing the riffs to become dry and the drums stale. Also, there is a cover of Deep Purple’s “Highway Star”, which they add enough of their own twist to not only respect the source material, but give it a new sound.  

All in all, for fans of GWAR or crossover in general, you can’t go wrong checking this out. I can’t say that this blew me off my feet, but it was memorable, which goes a long way with a humorous band such as GWAR. You may not find any classic tracks or groundbreaking material on this album, but I’d be willing to bet you’ll have a good time and get a kick out of the classic GWAR mentality.

Highlights: “Welcome to New Jersey” “Cavity Search” “Barbells”

Rating: 3

Stormtroopers of Death: Bigger than the Devil

Stormtroopers of Death (S.O.D.) was a side gig started by Scott Ian of Anthrax and include fellow bandmate, Charlie Benante on drums and bassist, Dan Liker from Nuclear Assault. The band was an outlet of sorts for Ian’s hardcore/crossover affinity to which they included a heavy dose of fun and humorous anecdotes. They released their debut album “Speak English or Die” in 1985 and then went on a very long hiatus until 1999, when band would put out their sophomore effort, “Bigger Than the Devil”.

The sound on “Bigger than the Devil” is a straight forward brand of crossover thrash, while being sure to keep true to the hardcore side of the genre. The riffs are rather forgettable as they do little to hook the listener and even when you do recognize them, they are very catchy. There are minimal rhythms and harmonies to be had, along with a noticeable lack of shredding solos. To say the guitars were a disappointment would be an understatement. Aside from his legendary work with Anthrax, I would have expected more from Ian, as many other crossover acts such as Pro-Pain have numerous solos and catchy riffs that made their music so much more memorable.

The drumming on the other hand, is pretty solid. I will say that the beats create a nice rhythm for the majority of the songs, that carry what little force this album contains and helps keep some relevancy. Billy Milano’s vocals are a nice fit for the genre in general and are also a bright spot on the album. They are fast and fierce, everything you’d expect from the hardcore/crossover sound. I especially enjoyed the song “We All Bleed Red” as it featured, Roger Miret of Agnostic Front. As for the song writing, well the lyrics are foolish and stupid, just the way SOD intended. Even though the music does not live up to expectations, the underlying humor comes through clear enough like on “Celtic Frosted Flakes” or “King at the King / Evil”

Overall, “Bigger than the Devil” does not hold up to “Speak English or Die”. The music is is pretty bare bones, simplistic in nature and rather lacking, which makes for a dull final product. It by no means is bad, but I think this could have been so much more with a little more time invested in the song writing and instrumentation. As it is, you certainly get a chuckle out this album for all the right reasons and fans of crossover will find enough to enjoy during their listen. At the end of the day, this is humor metal in vain of a GWAR, Haunted Garage or Green Jello. Fans of either might find more in the songs than I, but other than that, I would stick with their debut.

Highlights: “We All Bleed Red” “Kill the Assholes” “Shenanigans”

Rating: 2.5